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  I ONLY WENT TO CHECK ON MY NEIGHBOR—BUT THE NOTICE ON HER DOOR WASN’T FROM THE LANDLORD

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  I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS—UNTIL MY NEIGHBOR TRIED TO TURN MY DAUGHTER AGAINST ME

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  I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS—UNTIL MY NEIGHBOR TRIED TO TURN MY DAUGHTER AGAINST ME

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  MY NEIGHBOR AND I HAD A FIGHT OVER FENCE LINES—AND NOW MY DOG’S GONE MISSING

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  I HADN’T SEEN A HORSE IN 32 YEARS—UNTIL THEY SURPRISED ME WITH THIS

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  HE MADE EVERYONE LAUGH—UNTIL HIS DOG CAME HOME WITHOUT HIM

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  I ASKED FOR SOMETHING SMALL AND WARM—THEY SHOWED UP WITH SIX SURPRISES

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  I MOVED MY GRADUATION TO OUR DRIVEWAY SO MY DAD COULD SEE IT

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  SHE HELD UP A WHITEBOARD WITH HER ADVICE—BUT WHAT SHE SAID AFTER HIT DIFFERENT

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  THEY WERE JUST OUR GARBAGE MEN—UNTIL MY KIDS STARTED WAITING FOR THEM EVERY WEEK

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  I WOKE UP TO FIND MY FLAG GONE—AND A $20 BILL ON MY DOORSTEP

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  I STOOD ON THE CORNER OFFERING MONEY—AND PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY