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  THE ELEVATOR BROKE DOWN—AND THAT’S HOW I ENDED UP AS A HUMAN CHAIR

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  I BROUGHT HIM TO THE VET FOR A CHECKUP—AND LEFT WITH A QUESTION I WASN’T READY TO FACE

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  SHE GAVE HIM A TEDDY BEAR—AND HE TOOK OFF HIS SUNGLASSES TO HIDE THE TEARS

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  HE STANDS THERE EVERY MORNING—BUT HE’S NOT ASKING FOR A THING

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  A POLICE OFFICER FIXED MY DAUGHTER’S BIKE—BUT HE LEFT US WITH SOMETHING ELSE

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  HE PUSHED MY CAR UP A HILL—BUT WHAT I FOUND IN MY BACK SEAT AFTERWARD SHOOK ME

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  MY DAUGHTER SWITCHED SEATS MID-FLIGHT—AND I FOUND OUT WHY TOO LATE

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  MY MOM WORE RED TO “MATCH” MY DAD—BUT I KNEW SHE WASN’T SMILING FOR REAL

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  MY NIECES FOUND A STRAY CAT—AND THEN DROPPED A QUESTION THAT BROKE MY HEART

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  HE SHOWED ME A TEXT RIGHT BEFORE WE SAID “I DO”

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  I USED TO CROSS THE STREET WHEN I SAW A COP—UNTIL THIS HAPPENED OUTSIDE THE SHELTER

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  MY MOM SAID “NO MORE PETS”—SO I BROUGHT HOME A HORSE AND A WIENER DOG