He gave me a login to some IQ test and I scored higher than him. First he was in disbelief, then a bit sulky. I’ve never thought I’m “smarter”. Anyway, since then my husband has changed. To my disgust, he even started acting weird about little thingsโcorrecting my grammar mid-sentence, rolling his eyes when Iโd misplace my keys, or talking over me at dinner parties like I needed help finishing a thought.
At first, I tried to laugh it off. I thought maybe it was just a phase. Maybe the test bruised his ego more than he expected. But then it became clearer: it wasnโt just about the test. It was something deeper. Like my success, in any form, suddenly felt like an attack on his identity.
One night, after a dinner at his friend Omarโs place, I noticed how he changed the subject every time I shared something I was proud of. I mentioned a promotion possibility, and he immediately talked about a new client he signed. It wasnโt even relevant. It was justโฆdefensive.
It hurt because we used to be a team. Iโd cheer him on when his design firm landed contracts, and he used to be the first to pour us wine when I got good news at work. But after that silly IQ test, it felt like something cracked.
I told my best friend Raya over coffee. She raised her eyebrows and said, โMaybe heโs insecure. But you donโt need to dim your light for anyone.โ That stuck with me.
I decided to talk to him about it. One evening, while we were folding laundry in silence, I said, โHey, I feel like somethingโs shifted between us lately.โ
He didnโt look up from the towel he was folding. โShifted how?โ
โI donโt knowโฆ like youโre mad at me for being proud of myself.โ
He finally looked up, defensive. โYou always think everything is about you.โ
That was a slap in the face, in more ways than one.
โIโm not trying to make it about me. Iโm trying to talk to you. But youโve been distant andโฆ I donโt know, competitive.โ
He scoffed. โYou took a random test. That doesnโt mean anything.โ
โI know. I didnโt even care about the score. But something changed after that. You started looking at me differently.โ
He paused, then mumbled, โMaybe I just feel like youโre doing better than me.โ
That surprised me. Heโd never said anything like that. โBut weโre not in a race.โ
He shrugged. โMaybe youโre not.โ
That night, I cried after he fell asleep. I wasnโt crying because of what he said. I cried because I realized that the man I marriedโthe one who used to lift me upโwas now keeping score.
Still, I wanted to save what we had. I suggested we go to counseling. He said no. I offered to plan a weekend getaway, just the two of us. He said he was too busy.
Eventually, I stopped trying. Not out of anger, but exhaustion.
Weeks turned into months. We were like polite roommates. The kind who knew how to make small talk, but never looked each other in the eye too long.
Then something happened.
At my office, a new manager joinedโNeil. Mid-40s, kind eyes, divorced, with a daughter in college. He wasnโt flirtatious, but he listened. Weโd talk in the break room sometimes, about everything from books to burnout. It was harmless at first. Until it wasnโt.
I never crossed a line, but I began to feel things again. Not for Neil, necessarily, but for the version of me that I missedโthe woman who laughed, who felt seen, who didnโt walk on eggshells at home.
One day, after a team presentation, Neil caught up with me in the hallway and said, โYou were incredible in there. The whole room was hanging on your words.โ
I smiled and thanked him, but it rattled me. Not because of the compliment, but because I couldnโt remember the last time my husband looked at me like that.
I went home that night and looked at myself in the mirror. I saw tired eyes, forced smiles, and a heart that was starting to drift.
Something had to change.
That weekend, I told my husband I was going to visit my sister two hours away. He barely looked up from his laptop. โAlright. Drive safe.โ
That was it. No questions. No โIโll miss you.โ Nothing.
At my sisterโs place, we stayed up late drinking tea. She listened to everything and said, โDo you want to stay in this marriage?โ
I didnโt answer immediately. But the silence was an answer in itself.
On my way back home the next evening, I decided I would talk to him one last time. Really talk. No accusations, no drama. Just honesty.
But when I got home, something felt off.
His shoes were by the door, but the house was oddly quiet. I walked into the kitchen and found a note on the counter.
โNeeded space. Went to my brotherโs for a few days. Donโt wait up.โ
No โLove, me.โ No signature.
It stung. But weirdly, it also gave me a moment of clarity. If this was his way of handling things, then maybe we really had outgrown each other.
While he was away, I cleared out the guest room, made it my own space, and took a long, hard look at our wedding photo on the mantle. I felt sad, but also free. Like something inside me had finally stopped begging to be heard.
Three days later, he came back. I was in the kitchen making tea.
He walked in, awkward. โHey.โ
โHey.โ
He looked around. โYou moved your stuff?โ
I nodded. โI needed some space too.โ
There was a long pause before he said, โSoโฆwhat happens now?โ
โI think we should talk.โ
We sat at the table. He looked nervous.
โI donโt hate you,โ I said. โBut I also donโt feel like weโre partners anymore.โ
He sighed. โI know. Iโve been a jerk.โ
I didnโt argue. He needed to say it.
โI got jealous,โ he admitted. โWhen you scored higher. When you got that bonus. When people talk about how smart you are.โ
โThat was never a competition,โ I said quietly. โYou made it one.โ
โI know. And I was stupid. I felt like I was losing control of something.โ
โYou werenโt. You were just supposed to walk beside me.โ
We both sat there, silent, letting it sink in.
He eventually said, โI donโt want to lose you. But I donโt want to keep hurting you either.โ
And just like that, we agreed to separate. No shouting. No slammed doors. Just two people who cared enough to walk away before it turned toxic.
The next few months were strange. I moved into a small apartment. He kept the house. We split things fairly. It was more peaceful than I expected.
I focused on work. I started hiking again. I reconnected with friends I hadnโt seen in years. And slowly, I remembered who I was before I started shrinking to fit someone else’s comfort zone.
As for Neilโnothing ever happened. He got promoted and transferred. We said goodbye like old friends. I was grateful for him though. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because he reminded me what it felt like to be heard.
A year later, I bumped into my ex at a bookstore. He lookedโฆ lighter. Happier, even.
He told me he started therapy. Said he was working on himself. For real this time.
โI realized,โ he said, โthat I measured my worth by how well I was doing compared to you. Not by how well we were doing together. That was my mistake.โ
I smiled. โWe both made mistakes.โ
We parted with a hug. No bitterness. Just peace.
I donโt regret marrying him. I donโt even regret the IQ test. It showed us both who we really wereโand who we werenโt meant to be anymore.
Life has a funny way of teaching lessons through the smallest things. An online quiz. A folded towel. A missed โIโll miss you.โ
Sometimes, the biggest growth happens when things fall apart just enough to show you the cracks.
And sometimes, walking away isnโt quitting. Itโs choosing yourself.
So if youโre reading this and you feel unseen, unheard, or like youโre stuck in a silent competition with someone who should be your biggest fanโlisten to that voice inside you. It knows when youโre not being loved right.
You deserve a partner, not a rival. And love isnโt measured by who scores higherโitโs measured by who shows up, every day, without keeping score.
If this story moved you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. And give it a likeโit helps stories like this find more hearts.




